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Marleaux
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Post by Marleaux » Mon Apr 12, 2010 1:08 am

All CC wanted but omg help with the arm! =O
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Post by Luxotic » Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:51 am

your forearm is too short, and your bicep look saggy, instead of relaxed. :D
lol talk about vague CC. I always have this problem with drawings, so I just make the angle more extreme and have the arm out more. :)
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Post by Penty » Mon Apr 12, 2010 1:23 pm

The head looks a bit small, and it's not "attached" to the neck, if that makes any sense--if you want to have her looking straight ahead, the head needs to be moved a few pixels to the left, and if you want a 3/4 view the shape should be different.

The other major issue is the arm; the two halves of it should be about the same length, and the whole thing needs to be longer. She also needs a defined wrist, but you can add that pretty easily with shading. (I think there's also something off about how it attaches to the body, but my anatomy's not good enough to say what it is.)

It looks to me like there's something odd about the breasts as well, but that's something that shading could easily fix.

Here is a BEAUTIFUL demonstration of what I mean, kind of (excuse its BEAUTY, I'm using a touchpad) if you're a more visual learner:
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Post by Blu » Mon Apr 12, 2010 3:10 pm

The shoulder is drawn too far back; you need to move the pixels more to the right. It's also very stiff, and the other shoulder seems to fall off too short in comparison. The breasts, as well, seem too far forward.

I can redline when I'm NOT IN CLASS. XD
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Post by aerieyena » Mon Apr 12, 2010 4:45 pm

Since Penty covered the arm... needs moar curves! Breasts are too far forward and she has almost no back and no hips.

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Sorry the lines are so messy, I'm on campus and am being forced to use a mouse. D:
Hope this helps. :3
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Post by Marleaux » Mon Apr 12, 2010 5:21 pm

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Aeri, I stole yo belly button \o/
Hand is still a monster >>
I'm gonna start developing a palette and shading the face but of course i still need body help =O
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Post by Blu » Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:57 pm

Wut. What's wrong with a mouse? >> Belly button! *pokes it and glees*

I don't think I did too good a job... :?

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Move the lips up. \o/ And the eyebrows will not be on that pink line but slightly above.
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Post by Marleaux » Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:49 pm

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Redlines with the banana fingers would be awesome :| like exact one. THat I can keep. and give credit.
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Post by Clare » Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:02 pm

I've done some redlines, sorry they're scribbly, they're just an idea.
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The outside of her arm from her shoulder down needed to be a bit straighter, the bump in it confused me. Also, the shape of the inside was a bit saggy on the fore and back arm, so I've shown how you could fix them a bit. And I don't know if it's more of a stylistic thing, but she seems to have an awfully skinny face, so if you plumped up her cheeks a bit, she'd look healthier, it'd sit better with the appearance of the torso.

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Post by PixelBug » Tue Apr 13, 2010 10:58 am

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I edited the face so she doesn't look so creepy anymore. The head should be longer and the jawline a bit lower. Also EARS. Give the poor girl some.
The neck didn't seem to support the head before. Remember - it's connected to the neck and has to hold up the weight of your brain and skull :).
The hand is pretty self-explanatory. It should be thicker and the forearm is not the thickest in the middle but towards the elbow. The hand was a bit short, too.

There might be mistakes in my redlines (I personally see a few already), but I hope this helps. Good luck :)
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Post by Marleaux » Thu Apr 15, 2010 2:31 am

Copy pasting ftw \p/ Image

?1 not sure how to end the highlight
?2 the chest area above the tits seems bare, i dunno if i shade there
?3 lol nipples. I so got them wrong. Damn Hazy!
?4 Stomache pooch area ok?
?5 fingers icky?
?6 Pillow shaded? :|
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Post by Helyn » Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:03 am

I tried to do some scribbles but I failed.

For 1. you could try extending the highlight from shoulder to shoulder. Might also make the chest look less bare. Alternatively, end it as a ball at the shoulder.

I also had a go at the fingers. Right now, the fingers seem to be about uniform in size so showing subtle size difference would be good. The thumb looks a little blocky - make it more pointy (...as well as you can with small pixel art anyway...).
It looks a little like the middle finger is on top of the ring finger so some pixel pushing in that area would be handy.
Also, for the space between the ring finger and the pinky - curve it (again, as well as you can). If you look at your own hand (or my demented sketch) then you'll see that the space between fingers is curved, not pointy like your base has.
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Hope I have helped at least a little bit...
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Post by Marleaux » Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:05 pm

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Any CC?
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Post by Marleaux » Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:30 pm

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Blu is trying to make a bone arm for me \o/
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Post by Blu » Thu Apr 29, 2010 9:39 pm

I epically failed! \o/

If you want, I can do a more time-consuming attempt. >.>
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Post by Marleaux » Thu Apr 29, 2010 9:40 pm

Yes :|
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Post by Blu » Thu Apr 29, 2010 9:40 pm

<.< Lol, IM is open. >.>
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Post by Marleaux » Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:18 am

And I left >=[
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Post by Blu » Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:31 am

I didn't notice. D= I looked back and went ":(".

But, yeah, I'll try to do a better bone later. <<

Maybe ask Sissors. XD Say Blu sent you. :B
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Post by Marleaux » Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:56 am

XD Bone aside, anyone think she's ready for publishin' or more CC? :3

I will pay 50d for someone to make a bone arm edit though( a good one of course ) !
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Post by PixelBug » Sat May 01, 2010 3:42 am

Her arm's a bit pillow-shaded, the hand is a bit small (although it does look cute...) and she looks a bit wall-eyed. I like her though, I'm sure she'll be quite popular after you publish her.
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Post by Marleaux » Sat May 01, 2010 1:42 pm

Lola was helping me in Dressing Room and did perdy things to the face. I'm gonna try and fra-replicate << them.
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Post by Rasberry » Sat May 01, 2010 5:16 pm

this is what i think a bone should be sorry its messy

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Post by Marleaux » Sat May 01, 2010 5:27 pm

Thank yoU! :D
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Post by Rasberry » Sat May 01, 2010 6:37 pm

you like it? o.o
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To Do List-
Farm Animal- 60% done
Art Trade with Kiba- 90% done
Art Trade with DarkPheonix- 80% done
Finish dolls that are not completed yet- 15% done
Auction win for Blu- 30% done
Please let me know if i owe you something.


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