The vending machine game!

[Blu]

You receive nothing, but the vending machine starts to emit a very distinct BO.

I toss some scented candles in there.

[buttons]

The vending machine ignites and spits flames out at you before putting itself out. So, you get flames. That's it.

*puts a small child in the vending machine*

[Blu]

The child climbs back out with a pair of underwear on his head, screeching to the heavens about the coming panty apocalypse.

*throws the rest of this organic scone into the never satiated vending machine*

[buttons]

You get back a "Thanks for Recycling" sticker.

I guess I'll throw in my feet now... cause they hurt.

[Blu]

*has a buttons fall into my arms* Oh, hello.

Well, back in you go. *deposits buttons back into the machine*

[buttons]

You would put me back, Blu?! That cuts deep.

Ahem, anyways. You get a bottle of chocolate milk back.

*inserts a can of soup*

[Blu]

Okay, this milk is worrying. XD

You get back a bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup with saltine crackers.

I put my empty juice box in the machine... >.>

[buttons]

You get back MORE CHOCOLATE MILK!!!

*puts hand sanitizer into the machine*

[Consonanta]

You receive the 0.01% of the bacteria that the hand sanitizer failed to eliminate.

I insert a two-dollar bill into the machine.

[buttons]

You get back a (fake) 100 dollar bill! It's your lucky day! Don't spend it all in one place.

*inserts a latex glove*

[Consonanta]

You receive the amount of air necessary to produce the perfect glove balloon.

I insert a shard of glass.

[buttons]

You get back a shard of plastic...

*inserts a grimy old baseball cap*

[Blu]

You get a baseball player. Is he cute?

I drop in a couple eggs.

[buttons]

He isn't... he looks a little like a goblin.

You get out some empty eggshells!

*puts in an empty toilet paper roll*

[Consonanta]

You receive an empty toilet bowl.

I pour in two litres of vodka, with a splash of grenadine.

[buttons]

You get back a virgin Sea Breeze!

*inserts Lucky Charms cereal*

[Consonanta]

You get diabetes.

I insert a cluster of pixels.

[buttons]

You get back a cluster of twigs.

*puts a doorknob in*

[Consonanta]

You receive an enormous chain of keys.

I cram twenty cardboard boxes into the vending machine.

[buttons]

You get back a $50 fine for littering.

I insert an I.O.U.

[faeriepug]

You get back a lovely essay on the mitochondrial theory of aging.

I insert a "Man in the Iron Mask" DVD.

[buttons]

You get back a strange old man in a creepy iron mask, who won't stop yelling "ehhhh, sonny?" at you.

*puts in an aspirin*

[denimwriter]

@buttons gets a limousine in Lisa Frank colors.

I will insert 2 penguin feathers and Gollum's Precioussssssss ring.

[Blu]

You receive a polar bear with eerily glowing red eyes...

I toss in a pair of old shoes.

[buttons]

You pull out a pair of new shoes... for clowns.

*puts in a sticky note*